Being a first-generation immigrant from any background comes with struggles and a variety of challenges. We’re the first to achieve certain accomplishments that our parents couldn’t, which often creates pressure to succeed in school.
Carrying the weight of being the first to reach not only my goals but my family’s goals as well, motivates me to try my hardest so I don’t feel as if everything they sacrificed for me was a waste. But it’s difficult not to burn out in the process of aiming to meet someone else’s expectations.
Being a first generation, there is often no family background or pathway that involves college. In most cases, this leads to having to decide what classes I’m taking, what extracurricular activities to participate in and what colleges I’ll apply to all by myself. Even if I have tremendous support from my parents and they’re by my side every step of the way, it can cause me to feel lost or without guidance because these decisions are all fully on me; the process can feel hard without anyone to look up to.
It often also makes me feel guilty for not striving to achieve greater accomplishments or for not seizing every opportunity because I have the freedom to choose certain things while my parents didn’t. Passing up on something can feel wasteful yet exhausting at the same time because I’m constantly making decisions for both myself and my family as well.
I have a deep fear of failure because it means not only letting myself down but letting my parents down. Because they made many sacrifices to give me opportunities they never had themselves, the thought of failing can feel more hurtful to them than to me. I’m carrying the hopes and dreams that they have for me and every step I take forward is meant to honor my family’s sacrifices, so failure feels like a bigger loss than just my personal disappointment.
Even though being a first generation comes with many challenges, there’s a good side to it as well. It gives me more motivation and a stronger drive to succeed in life and to be ambitious. It also comes with its own unique adventures that are new to me and my family; even though my parents never had the opportunity to experience the things I do, they live through me. I share every milestone I reach and goal I achieve with them, and all the struggles feel worth it because even though they never had those chances, I did, and that gives me hope to continue.
Junior Clifford Hubbard, a first-generation student, is thankful for the opportunities he has, such as going to school and having the opportunity to pursue greater things.
“All you could do is kind of strive and honor them and just do what they couldn’t do, the things that they dream to do. Because your problems are their dreams, if you think about it,” Hubbard said.
