After 22 years of scaring customers, Markoff’s Haunted Forest has it down to a science. Every year the haunted forest dons a new theme, with this year’s being a Dante’s Inferno-esque descent into hell. Personally, I found this to be a huge step up from last year’s circus theme, but not quite on par with the prison theme from a few years ago. Even with a huge October crowd, things generally ran smoothly and without too many hiccups.

Upon arrival, visitors are given a sticker with a number and then allowed to wait in the “Circle of Death” until your number is displayed on a giant screen, at which point you can enter the forest. This ingenious system allows you to enjoy all of the awesome entertainment that Markoff’s has to offer, rather than spending all your time waiting in a long line.

Attractions in the “Circle of Death” include several features that represent different hell or different sins. Tickets for the different attractions are $3 a piece or 10 for $25. One such attraction is the Greedy Wheel , a wheel that you can spin to gamble your tickets in hopes of some more valuable prizes (1-2 tickets). Another is Anger Ball, a game  where you try and knock your friend off a narrow log.  This game is much better in theory than in practice (1-2 tickets). The Circle also includes the Haunted Hayride which pulls you off to yet another trail in a different location (6-8 tickets).  There is also a zip line (5-6 tickets), a trapeze swing (6-8 tickets) and many more attractions. 

For customers who are trying to save money , there’s also a free giant bonfire at the center of the festivities, and a DJ blasting music. There were also continuous performances by fire jugglers and hula hoopers throughout the night, and they are a ton of fun to watch.

When your number is called, you are free to enter the trail. Once through the giant concrete wall emblazoned with the words, “abandon all hope,”  you are met with a decision between two paths, trail one or trail two. In the past, the two paths have been pretty much equal in scares, but we were limited to only one path this year.

Each path is a 45 minute affair (can be longer or shorter depending on how fast or slow you walk) and takes you through a large variety of settings. The maze failed to create a tense atmosphere and very little continuity, but was fun none the less.

While other haunted attractions may focus on only a single theme, Markoff’s throws a hundred different themes together, detracting from the overall experience. Along trail one, I encountered a demon church, a death metal band, an old logging town and dinosaurs. Not much continuity there. In fact, many of the areas don’t even make an attempt at a theme, opting for a makeshift assortment of hiding places and generic Halloween masks. While I enjoyed the fun scares that each area brought, I wished that the haunted forest provided more atmosphere, rather than relying solely on jump scares.

There was also a noticeable lack of lighting throughout the forest. Inside the different structures, it was often pitch black, impossible to see what was supposed to be scaring you or where you were expected to go next. The lighting outside was no better. Markoff’s relies on a bunch of candles to light the trail, but in reality they give off little to no light. In fact, the only thing the candles accomplished was keeping my eyes from adjusting to the darkness.

This terrible lighting, combined with a twisting, turning and root-filled trail through the woods leads to a very dangerous situation. There were multiple times where a member of our group tripped on an obstacle along the path. We also found ourselves unsure of where to go through the maze, given no clear directions of where to go next. If not for actors spotting us at the last second, there were several times when our group would have wandered off into the woods.

What really sets Markoff’s apart from other attractions in the area are the actors. They rarely break character, are full of energy, and love scaring people. The thing that differentiates them from actors at other attractions is that they are allowed to touch you. This led to some amazing scares that you won’t get anywhere else. Nothing is more terrifying than feeling someone squeeze your ankle or grab your shoulder.

While allowing its actors to grab people is Markoff’s greatest strength, there were also several instances where the actors crossed the line. According to Paul Brubacher, VP of operations at Markoff’s the actors are told to simply brush people or give them a light tap on the shoulder and refrain from more intense contact. However, at one point we were tasked with crossing a narrow bridge over a lake. An actor in the middle of the bridge thought it would be fun to grab a member of our group, pick her up, hold her over the side of the bridge and threaten to drop her. This is clearly over the line, as she could have been seriously injured if the stunt had gone wrong.  I’m all for touching someone to enhance a scare but there should never be a point where you are picked up, let alone dangled over freezing water. Luckily, Brubacher assured us that the actor had been spoken to and this sort of incident would not happen again.

Another instance of actor immaturity came during a chainsaw filled section of the forest. A man with a chainsaw chased a teenage girl along the path until she tripped and fell over a tree root. He then waited for the girl to slowly pick herself up from the nasty fall before turning his chainsaw back on and continuing to chase her. This time she ran straight into a wall. This created an obvious safety hazard and could have seriously injured the girl.

After the fun, adrenaline pumping experience of the trail, you make your way back out to the Circle of Death where you can buy tickets for about $3.00 each and use them to play the different games. There is also food available for purchase. The funnel cake is delicious and the homemade kettle corn is to die for.

After the trail I had the chance to check out the Haunted Hayride, which costs an additional $15 per person. Unfortunately, there was no number system in place for the hayride, which meant waiting in a line for 20 minutes. After boarding the hayride you are pulled off to another section of the woods, across the parking lot. Here you are unloaded and presented with another trail to walk through. Calling the attraction haunted is very misleading since there are no scares on the hayride itself.

The hayride’s trail offered a shorter, but much more intimate experience than the main event. The actors were in character and actually talked and interacted with you rather than jumping out, then quickly retreated back to their hiding places. The hayride’s trail was also had a better theme, taking place in the wild west. The structures here seemed more permanent and aptly themed rather than thrown together. During the trail you make your way through the sheriff’s office, jail, butchers shop, an old mine and an orphanage. While there are fewer actors than the main trail, they all seem to be better trained. The haunted trail is more of a show than a collection of jump scares. After completing your journey through the trail, you once again board the hayride and are pulled back to the Circle of Death.

Overall, I had an amazing night at the haunted forest. While the event is clearly overpriced, the proceeds benefit Calleva camps and it creates a fun blend of party and spooky atmospheres. Don’t be surprised if you blow through $50 without experiencing even half of what Markoff’s has to offer, but if you aren’t short on cash, the haunted forest is one of the best ways you can spend the night out with friends. With better entertainment, more attractions and better scares, it is well worth the longer drive compared to the equally overpriced Field of Screams.