This article was published as a part of The Catch.
The Catch is the April Fool's publication of Walter Johnson High School's student newspaper The Pitch.
Articles published in The Catch are not factual.
After years of excellence, WJ’s official student newspaper has thrown its last “Pitch.” The Pitch will be shutting down for good, having gone bankrupt over the costly expense of running a fully-functioning student newspaper.
A number of issues were the cause of the collapse, including that Pitch adviser Wendy Borrelli said that she couldn’t continue running The Pitch for Walter Johnson, since her son currently goes to B-CC.
“I couldn’t keep helping a newspaper that is affiliated with a school that is a rival of my son’s school,” Borrelli said.
With a lack of contributions from its patrons and community members, The Pitch failed to raise enough funds to keep the newspaper running.
Editor-in-Chief Seyun Park is absolutely distraught over the sudden demise of the newspaper he has spent three years of his life working for.
“It pains me to see The Pitch collapse on itself,” Park said in disbelief. “I, personally, have worked so hard to make the Pitch into what it is today. All of the work that I did has gone for nothing. This collapse under my watch looks terrible on my resume.”
But hey readers, we’ve done some great work, right? We’ve profiled and documented some of the most interesting stories happening around us. The thousands of articles we have written, video documentaries taken and countless issues of printed newspapers about the WJ community cannot be forgotten. The Pitch legacy lives on and will always be treasured.
Since this is our last article, The Pitch has many people to thank. Thank you admin for never failing to give us plenty of content for which to write about. Thank you to all the teachers for giving us many fun personalities and teaching styles to profile.
Thank you to the countless amount of trees we’ve wasted, printing out many copies of the issues that the WJ community never picks up, thank you. The Pitch really wouldn’t have made it without your contribution.
And lastly, thank you to the fewer than 10% of students who have ever read our newspapers and magazines. And a huge thank you and shoutout to an even lesser percentage of people: everyone who has ever gone on our site to read articles such as this one.
Typically in baseball games, when a Pitcher is taken out of the game, they hand the ball to their coach. Sadly, we are handing our ball to no one, as we have been taken out of WJ’s society for good.