This article was published as a part of The Catch.
The Catch is the April Fool's publication of Walter Johnson High School's student newspaper The Pitch.
Articles published in The Catch are not factual.
In a shocking turn of events, Kanye “Ye” West became a Bar Mitzvah last Saturday, March 22. Less than a month after selling swastika-embroidered shirts, West traveled on a private jet from Los Angeles International Airport to Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, Israel, to lead a service at the Western Wall. West declared his new faith to the media on March 20, two days before the ceremony.
“When I was in bed alone the other night, I heard G-d’s voice telling me to come home to him,” West said. “Make sure to write it with a dash so you don’t use the lord’s name in vain.”
In a related development, West is suspected to begin treatment for schizophrenia in the coming weeks.
West read from Parsha Vayikra and wore a custom “Ye” branded kippa and tallit. West’s team will be recording the audio to reportedly use as a sample in West’s upcoming single.
West’s redemption arc has inspired the world and seemingly put an end to antisemitism. Even the war between Israel and Hamas has died down since West’s Mitzvah.
Sources say West plans to visit Auschwitz on a planned “Anti-Anti-Semitism Tour” where he will also be promoting the new line of Israel-themed Yeezys. Adidas reached out to West to rekindle their relationship since he turned his life around.
West surely is keeping the world on their toes, but we all can learn from this that forgiveness is always possible.
ChaChe • Apr 5, 2025 at 11:15 am
Praise YAHWEH for redemption, another chance to live and love, for HIS word Luke 12:2-3.Amen, Isaiah 35:5-6 opening the eyes of the blind.Amen 🛐
May ABBA Bless us with Divine Revival, Wisdom and Knowledge to know there is only the “Human Race” made in the image of the one and only true and living G-D. Bere’shiyth/Genesis 1:26.
Praying for mental healing for all, in order for All to see the truth of creation of All Humans, the 12 Tribes roots, remnants and descendants, seeds of Abraham living throughout the world. All created and loved equally by the Ancient of days…ABBA 🛐
of Days, ABBA.