This article was published as a part of The Catch.
The Catch is the April Fool's publication of Walter Johnson High School's student newspaper The Pitch.
Articles published in The Catch are not factual.
The day all students and faculty have feared has finally arrived: the science department has rebelled. Following constant demands for curved tests and extended deadlines, the science teachers have finally unionized.
“Our demands are just to finally be taken seriously,” an anonymous science teacher said. “We’ve warned everyone about what these chemicals are capable of, but no one ever listens … we’ll just have to show them.”
The main source of danger for students and staff lies in the chemical storage rooms. No one knows what’s there aside from the science teachers. All kinds of chemicals pose a great deal of danger; from biohazards to the materials for bombs, the science teachers have an immense arsenal at their disposal.
“Honestly, I support the science teachers. They teach so much valuable information, but everyone just complains about their classes,” an anonymous student said.
There have been calls to evacuate the school, and especially amongst the student body, there has been widespread panic.
“Our day has finally come. You will rue the day you undervalued the science department,” an anonymous science teacher said.
