Fungus, mold and spoiled food, oh my! Recently, Baked Bear has melted their way into a multitude of health code violations regarding their not-so-fresh food products, causing many customers to contract a deadly fungal virus. When workers tried to speak out on these issues, they were swiftly scooped out of the business.

Baked Bear’s large possession of dairy products have been lazily left out unrefrigerated and expired after experiencing budget cuts due to recent inflation rates. Along with the humidity wafting through their storefront windows, the fungus has fostered a fatal infection, leading the corporation to many lawsuits.

In order to cover their tracks, the business has sprinkled the blame on their large teenage staff who, upon defending themselves, have been fired to protect the integrity of the company. Not long ago, WJ senior Mamadi Cisse was fired after being accused of leaving the ice cream fridge open and allowing the dairy to spoil, causing a customer to become ill.

“I tried to argue my case, but it wasn’t worth it. I know I closed the fridge, and I know I saw the expiration date labels peeled off, so it for sure was management, but obviously I was the one fired,” Cisse said.

As it turns out, Cisse hasn’t been the only victim, other WJ students such as graduate Ryan Hachey and seniors Baxter Roberts and Jeremiah Morke were fired with fake reasoning to cover management’s bear sized footprints.

“I was told that I left the place a mess after I brought a couple friends in, which was just so untrue,” Cisse said.

As fungus filled ice cream sandwiches have been served for months now, many customers have been hospitalized as Baked Bear has been served with a multitude of hidden court cases. Fortunately, there have been no deaths as of late, as the infection has been rumored to kill, causing more concern for the health of our county, and the possibility of spreading to other Pike and Rose businesses.

Regardless of the accusations, many WJ students remain employed at the corrupted counter, but discourage students from applying, hoping the legal cases will shut the business down before quitting.

For now, previous employees are staying quiet out of fear of facing Baked Bear’s persistent legal team, with hope that customers and Karens will do their due diligence of shutting down this harmful corporation. Many Baked Bear fans hope they can enjoy their ice cream cookie sandwiches soon, but at the moment, it’s not the smartest, nor the healthiest indulgent.

“The food is not even that good, it’s best to just stay away for now unless you want to risk getting sick,” Cisse said