This article was published as a part of The Catch.
The Catch is the April Fool's publication of Walter Johnson High School's student newspaper The Pitch.
Articles published in The Catch are not factual.
Love is in the air this season as the newly engaged Walter Johnson Wildcat and Madcow announced they are expecting their first child. This is not the first time Wildcat has attempted at starting a family. Walter Johnson students recall the vicious divorce between Wildcat and the Bethesda Chevy Chase Baron; their feuding and settlement disagreements continue to this day.
“Well, I am just extremely excited to get back out there and finally begin my purpose in life, having a family with someone I love,” Wildcat said. “No, I do not want to address details with the current harassment from my past… significant other, however, I do want to just let the Walter Johnson community know that I am taking legal action.”
Controversy has sprung up within students of Walter Johnson regarding the health of a baby between a cat and cow, and the possible effects.
“I’m glad that Wildcat and Madcow are in a good relationship, however, I am just concerned with what could happen to part cat part cow baby,” junior Jocey Gaul said. “I can’t imagine what would happen to the baby. Actually, it might be interesting to see what kind of powers the baby could achieve.”
Others look past the Wildcat’s past relationship and the unknowns of the baby and are excited for the couple. They are still deciding on a name for the baby, which will be of unknown species, however, will undoubtedly be an important aspect of the Walter Johnson community, maybe even a mascot in the future.
“I’m happy for Wildcat and Madcow, especially after the past drama with Baron. It will be interesting to have another member of the Walter Johnson family. I just have to wonder what they will name their baby,” freshman Bella Relacion said.