In the struggle to choose just one person who would make the ideal homecoming date, I decided to review the criteria for the perfect person to bring to any occasion. I wanted to choose someone who could hold their own in any situation, without even the wiggle of a bow tie. I came up with the following requirements:
1. He must be a romantic. He should be sweet and charming like Cary Grant in An Affair to Remember when he suggests meeting his love at the top of the Empire State Building.
2. He must be an excellent dancer. My date must at least have a good sense of his equilibrium, because I am hopelessly uncoordinated. I fell off a tractor this summer. That is how unbalanced I am. With two left feet, it is important that my date be talented in the dance department.
3. He must also be calm, cool and collected. Stress is something I cannot handle very well on an everyday basis, let alone on special events. He must be someone who does not let any miscalculation faze him, be it a misplacement of the homecoming tickets or student I.D.
Thus, taking these things into consideration, I decided that I want to be accompanied to homecoming by James Bond. He would be attentive and know what to do in the case of a broken heel or a persistent underclassman. I might run a high risk of being kidnapped as a trick for Bond himself, but being naïve as I am, I would feel safe knowing that while I was with him there was no chance of something similar to the plot of Prom Night occurring. I would also be guaranteed to arrive in style. Bond would undoubtedly be driving the next best thing to the Batmobile. Created by Ian Fleming in the 50’s, he is very classy and of course, very handsome. Out of the seven actors who portrayed Bond on film, I would choose the most recent, Daniel Craig, to represent the British spy.
As I thought more about this choice, however, I was struck with another idea. I would love to go to homecoming with Anakin Skywalker! Forget James Bond’s Astin Martin, Anakin would take me in a spaceship or maybe some kind of hovercraft. His Jedi mind tricks would also come in very handy when trying to get my mother to extend my curfew. He would be an equally capable bodyguard as James Bond, armed with a light saber and his trusty sidekick R2-D2, and we could wear matching robes. He is the chosen one.
