“Crrraaacckkk! Twist. Crrraacccckkk!”

Does this sound familiar? If you had a sound track for your life, would you hear the grating noise of various knuckles and joints cracking? Would you hear the sizzle of a straightening iron as it singes your hair? Or the ubiquitous resonance of flip-flops clacking against the ground?

Many of you will answer “yes” to either one or all of these questions. Unfortunately, that means you are engaging in activities that are more detrimental to your personal health than you may have thought. I stumbled across the truth. Horrified, I thought I’d scare you all, too.

According to the SpineCare Chiropractic Group’s website, hypermobile spinal joints can become arthritic faster. Holy crap! I’m going to be a ropey, stretched out rubber band by the time I’m 20! And if a lot of kids twist, pop and crack on a regular basis, they too may find their heads rolling around on the ground, necks elongated and lax, before they get to graduation.

Turns out, according to a 2008 study by the American Academy of Dermatology, continual use of a flat iron damages the protective cuticles of your hair just like how an iron would do damage if it were left on a shirt for more than 10 seconds at a time. So unless you want to end up with an 80s shag hairstyle, get over your addiction to Barbie Doll hair, otherwise you’ll eventually end up bald.

So not only are we going to be stretched out, with our hair singed and our spines twisted, but we’re also going to waddle around with scrunched toes and inward-turned ankles and hips. Despite how difficult it is to break bad habits such as these, maybe now changing our ways will actually seem worthwhile.