Point/Counterpoint: Is it okay to be nonchalant?
Imagine you see a group of people wearing all black, some of them sagging, some of them wearing jeans that are too big, blocking the hallways at school. These are nonchalant individuals, inspired by the contagious trend. People strive to be viewed as mysterious or different. Being open and friendly is better than being nonchalant; I want to know you, not the vibe you’re trying to give off. I believe that we should collectively stop being nonchalant.
The nonchalant people attempt to appear this way to get the “huzz,” or partners. However, this doesn’t attract “huzz,” it repels them.
Whether you’re trying to be romantic or platonic, taking hours to reply to one message does not make someone mysterious and being dry in response doesn’t make you cool; it’s just annoying. If I’m trying to have a conversation with someone, I would rather have them listen to me rather than give a generic “that’s crazy” or “mhm.”
Expressing thoughts and feelings is important in creating long-term connections. My friend since elementary school, Dora, is the most “chalant” person I have ever met. When there is an issue, we always talk it out, even if it’s uncomfortable. Being friends with someone who communicates well is like a breath of fresh air in this grey generation.
Emotional unavailability is a sign of a bad relationship. I get that it is easier being nonchalant, but energies need to be reciprocated. Imagine sending somebody a paragraph about personal feelings, and all they say is “idk” or they just change the subject. When that happened to me, I kept on trying to get my point across, but I realized it wasn’t worth it.
It’s easy to spot someone trying to be nonchalant based on their style. Headphones in and head down, pretending that they don’t care about anything around them. If someone acts invisible, they will be invisible. You’re not gaining aura, you’re isolating yourself. Even if that is the goal, most people trying to be nonchalant are already popular.
There are some situations where it is harder to differentiate between people who try to be nonchalant in public and people who just don’t socialize. The people who look nonchalant on the outside can be very engaging when they’re around people they are comfortable with. My friend Aidan looks nonchalant until you get to know him. Once he’s with someone he knows, he is very talkative.
So many people pretending that they’re nonchalant are trying too hard. Being too nonchalant doesn’t make you mysterious; it makes you ordinary. Individuality is important, and being yourself is the best aura there is.
If you’re naturally not a loud, outgoing, or talkative person, people might label you as nonchalant. Being nonchalant has a variety of positive outcomes. Just because you don’t want to be in the mix doesn’t mean you’re trying to be different. Most of the time, when people see you staying to yourself, they’ll say you’re “aura farming” or trying to be cool when it could simply be who you are. With that being said, it is obvious if someone’s faking it.
Being nonchalant can get you out of a lot of situations. For example, if somebody is trying to intimidate you, keeping your composure and not fighting back can easily de-escalate the situation. If there is a panic going on and everybody goes crazy and loses control, they will look to someone who can control their emotions to handle the situation. Just because that person isn’t showing it on the outside, they are 100% still worried, they just know how to suppress it correctly.
Some people think that a nonchalant person is nonchalant everywhere they go, which isn’t true at all. If you truly care about someone or something you’re interested in, there’s a high chance the way you act around that thing or person will be much different. For example, if there’s a nonchalant person who’s very passionate about a sport on the inside, that passion will 100% come out when they play it.
Most of the time, when people call you nonchalant, they’re just throwing the word around. You were probably just staying to yourself or trying not to do too much.
On the contrary, many people mistake being nonchalant for aura farming. Aura farming is when somebody acts mysterious. A nonchalant person is just somebody who stays to themselves, and is usually calm. An aura-farmer is someone who wears an amazing outfit for no reason and acts overly mysterious for no reason. Usually, when someone is aura farming, it is on purpose and isn’t part of their personality. For example, I have a friend who will just be standing against a wall for no reason with headphones in until somebody says his name. After you start talking to him, he’ll start acting goofy and quit the entire act.
Although it can be corny, aura farming isn’t always bad. If you feel good and confident about yourself, why not? Too much aura farming is when people start calling you corny. If you’re sitting on a random ledge staring off into the abyss, it’s getting to that point where you’re overdoing it.
But overall, the only main negative of being nonchalant is the fact that people might see you as less approachable, which, in a way, isn’t all that bad. Because if you’re a nonchalant person, you likely prefer staying to yourself anyway.
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