Dear Tilly,

I’m in a relationship with a great guy. He’s been there for me through the tough times and was there to help me when I was really lost, but now I feel like he’s drifting away. We only talk or text when I start the conversation and he hardly ever tries to hang out with me and says he’s hanging out with his friends, but I saw him with my best friend yesterday. I don’t know if they were just talking or if there was something more going on, but I asked her about it and she said she was just helping him through some stuff. We have been dating for the past year and I just don’t know where we’re at right now. Please help.

Sincerely,

Perfect Girlfriend

Dear Perfect Girlfriend,

First of all, if he is such a great guy, I would sit down with him and ask him what’s up with him and your best friend. He might surprise you and understand where you’re coming from. It might be nothing or it might be something, but I would tell him that you want him to tell you the honest truth and that you won’t get mad. However, you do need to be prepared to stand by that statement.

Second, if he is not texting you, he may just be busy. Whether you believe it or not, it happens; people have other things to do then just text each other constantly. If he does not attempt to talk to you or hang out with you, I would ignore him for a few days and if he asks if you’re mad at him, just tell him, “No, I have just been busy.” It might sound mean, but if he really cares, then he will text you.

As for not knowing where you are in the relationship, I would ask him what he is thinking. Communication is key in any relationship, speaking your mind in a nice way can help rebuild the bridge of trust you guys might have lost. I totally understand if you are one of those people who don’t like to hear others tell you that “there are other guys out there”, or that “you can do better,” because right now you feel like he’s the best. You don’t want to let that go and while that’s what makes a relationship strong, it takes two to make a couple.

Sincerely,

Tilly