This is the story of one of the worst insults I have ever received.
This person shall remain anonymous, but let’s just say this young man has amazing facial hair. For the few times I have seen him flitting around the hallways of WJ, I’ve admired his beautiful scruff and wanted to compliment him on such a manly accomplishment.
My opportunity came knocking one day when I was helping out with S*T*A*G*E and alas, a young man who I shall call “Steven” was also assisting the crew.
As I was getting something from the costume room, I turned to Steven and said:
“I like your beard!”
He looked at me, his face registering shock for a split second, then utter snobbish disgust in my general direction. He looked at me like I had four blue arms and an alien coming out of my forehead. After a good 30 seconds of awkwardness, I walked out of the costume room confused. I just gave this boy a great compliment, in fact, one of the greatest compliments I could give (being a facial hair enthusiast), and he made it completely weird.
When a teenager is able to grow a beard, maintain it at an acceptable length, and make it a signature look, then he should not only accept compliments, but expect them. And to be quite honest, a good beard is a rare occurrence. In high school you see the awkward single hair on the chin, the weird neck beard, the ever-so spotted with bald spots beard and the unable-to-grow-a-beard-but-still-trying beard. Nothing is worse than the peach fuzz mustache. So when the perfect beard comes into play, it deserves recognition.
I encourage facial hair styling. In fact, when the Facial Hair Styling Club was started at WJ, it made my entire year. But please take heed — you don’t want to be like “Starburns” from the popular NBC show Community (a man with sideburns shaped like stars . . . it just isn’t cute). When you finally take on the challenge of growing facial hair, remember young men, facial hair is an ART. It is not something to be taken lightly. Best of luck in your artistic journeys.
