Susannah: What I’m going to miss most about The Pitch is all of the people. I’m going to miss designing layout and all the fun writing that we have to do. I chose a puppy because Kevin took a cat, which was my first choice. But whatever, puppies are really cute.
David: Well, as I say goodbye to The Pitch, I’m realizing that I’m not going to miss you guys that much because I feel this organization has taken advantage of me. I feel my skills are taken for granted by those inferior to me sitting in this circle. And I just feel I am above you all, in so many aspects of this whole world. If I could be any animal, I would be a zebra. Two beautiful races, meshed together in a way that no one has a problem with. This is the world I want to one day live in.
Jake: I’m definitely going to miss yelling. The only thing I remember about The Pitch is that I yelled at everyone sitting in this circle at some point in time. To put it bluntly: I won an award, guys, and screw all of you, because all of you hate on me constantly. But hey, I won a f**kin’ award. But real talk: I love you guys—you may not be award-winning like me, but I still love you. As for an animal, I’d be a giraffe because quite frankly, it’d be pretty dank to be tall.
Kate: The first thing I’m going to miss about press is walking in and hearing the sweet sounds of Will McCurry singing Journey songs. “Don’t Stop Believing” is a personal favorite. If I could be an animal, I would be a lion so that I could attack David Riva in zebra form. I’ll also miss Andre Roberts, because he’s nearly 18 and still writes everything in Comic Sans MS, which I personally find really funny. And Andre is the person I fight with the most because he refuses to adhere to basic grammatical structure.
Corey: The thing I’m going to miss is our walk out songs for when we finish our sections. The News section uses “Beat It,” and we, the Sports section, use “Calabria.” I’d be a hawk, for it is a symbol of loyalty, class and strength. I want to be able to fly, because that’s awesome.
Ben: What I’m going to miss about Pitch was witnessing the glorious friendship that Tasha and Jeremy Smith had. It was truly touching to witness it every day as it grew and blossomed. If I were an animal, I’d probably be a panda bear, ‘cause I love panda bears.
Andre: One thing I’m going to miss about The Pitch is all the people on the staff. I like dealing with everyone in their own unique way. I’m going to miss Kate Duffy—even though she thinks I have grammatical problems, I don’t. I blame it on spell check.
Kate: Right. The commas deleted themselves.
Andre: Anyway, I’ll miss Amy and Tasha because I give them drafts and they just tell me to do it over again. I’d probably like to be a tiger, and I’m not going to say anything about being black in this roundtable because I do enough of that in my “Roberts Rant” columns.
Ethan: I’m going to miss Ms. Gates’s secret food drawer that she thinks I don’t know about. The Chicken of the Sea packs with the crackers, the Kashi granola bars, are so tasty in sixth period when I don’t eat lunch. I’m going to miss everybody because this is, well, my only extracurricular activity. The reason I’m a dolphin is because I feel very at home in the ocean. That’s where I belong.
Tasha: I think I’ll miss Jake a little bit. Even though we’ve had our rough times, he did win an award and well, I’ve never won an award. If I had to be an animal I think I’d be Jeremy Smith, because I’d want to stay seven years old forever. But Ethan made me his dolphin trainer because he just can’t live without me under the ocean.
Will: The thing I’m going to miss most about Pitch is asserting my dominance over Luke Wilson every day. Luke Wilson is a cheeky bastard-
Alina: The thing I’m going to miss most is stalkerishly calling the home phones of seniors for the Senior Scatter. “Hello, this is Alina from The Pitch. Could you please tell me what college…errr…what your plans for next year are?”
Susannah: Another thing I’m going to miss about press is that one time when the Feature section finished before News. And I’m going to miss the time that Luke came up to me and told me, “You’re next.”
Kevin: COULD EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP SO I CAN TALK PLEASE! What I’m going to miss about The Pitch is the sense of urgency. A second ago I was pulled into the room to look at an article that, in reality, could have waited a little while. But I felt needed, and that’s why I love this paper. I’m a kitten because I think wizard kittens are pretty chill.
Amy: Well said. Before I came into The Pitch, I was the nerdiest person in the world. I’m still that nerdy girl, in addition to knowing some of the coolest people in the world. Looking back I know I’ve accomplished everything I’ve wanted to accomplish. A lot of it is due to my Watergate complex and some of it is because I could store the corpses in the Pitch office under all of those pairs of pants Danny Fersh left there last year.
